How to not get irritated by people

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“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself”

Welcome to another blog. I was randomly thinking today on life, like why we are the way we are, how to live a good life without getting irritated or opinionated by others and all that stuff. This made me reflect on some thoughts, which I’m sharing here.

If you’ve ever wondered “why do I let things bother me so much?“, then here’s the most important thing you need to know. Trust me, I understand that this is much easier said than done. However, I’ve come to realize that the fastest way to stop something from getting under your skin is by not complaining about it.

I know this contradicts the common advice to ‘vent’ and express your frustrations. It’s perfectly natural to have negative emotions, but in my experience, complaining often amplifies the issue. It focuses attention on the problem, making it seem larger than it actually is.

If you want to stop letting things bother you, start with compassion - for yourself and others. The way to live life is to explain something to someone else without becoming irritated or angry. Because it is very simple to become angry in front, it is quite difficult to convey the narrative without hurting someone. It is a fundamental rule that when one thing comes, the first goes away. Just like water washes away dust or filth, air washes away heat, and light washes away the darkness, when we have positive ideas, unpleasant thoughts are washed away immediately.

You need to understand this, emotions are a semi-persistent, hormonal, embodied, motivating force that is contextualized and invoked by some disparity between what you were expecting of the world, and what you are now perceiving as reality.

Human mind does not perceive the world itself, the mind creates our perceptions by organizing our sensory experiences and making a model of the world for us to think about and experience. This results in us often classifying people as good or bad in our minds. I think there are no good or bad people. Everyone is bouncing between the two. Although, there are positive and negative people, but no good or bad ones. Everyone acts positively when it is a nice and comfortable environment. If it is an uncomfortable environment, many people will behave negatively.

The problem is, we see everything through the “me” lens, which isn’t really useful as it is not a representation of bigger reality. We respond to everyone else’s actions and words as if they are a personal judgement or offence to us.

As a result, the anger of others irritates or hurts us. We get offended or upset when someone else shows a lack of care or respect, and when this happens, we label them as bad people. Similarly, when someone’s actions brings us happiness, even though for a short period of time, we label them as good people.

Now, if you want peace in your life, instead of arguing with others and seeing them through this lens, it’s better we improve ourself, since “to walk the Earth without cutting your feet, it is simpler to put sandals on your own feet than to throw carpets all over the world”.

Only when you have to go along the road of life do you realize who is smiling, who is ignoring, and who has your back in difficult times. It is sometimes necessary to be silent. You don’t have to know the answers to every question.

When life feels chaotic and overwhelming, it can seem like the world is closing in on you. Stress builds up, and even the smallest setback can feel like a huge obstacle.

I think everyone is carrying some form of grief - whether it’s for a loved one, a broken heart, or an unrealized dream - and we all need time to process these emotions. Why? Because we need to create space to move forward. It’s important to learn to rest when necessary. This might be as simple as stepping away from your desk to make a cup of tea or taking a longer break from a project or commitment. Take time to sit with yourself for a while, allow yourself to feel natural, and then repeat the process until you discover the balance that suits you best.